http://mainejokes.com Jokes | Comedy | Cartoons | Photos | Videos Thu, 10 Dec 2009 14:44:21 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en The Christmas Party memo Company Memo I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... ... http://mainejokes.com/114/ Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such ... http://mainejokes.com/failed-upgrade/ Four guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator. While they are stuck, they strike up a conversation. The first guy says, 'I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E., you know. ''Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist'' The second guy says, 'I'm a D.I.N.K.Y., you know... ''Double Income, No Kids Yet. ' The ... http://mainejokes.com/stuck-in-an-elevator-in-portland-maine/ Some geological engineers from the U.S.G.S. recently surveyed some property in New England and found that in a certain area, the New Hampshire and Maine border must be changed. They stopped to inform a farmer that he was no longer in Maine, but now in New Hampshire. After a long pause, ... http://mainejokes.com/ecological-study-in-maine/ Hello, Is this the FBI?" "Yes. What do you want?" "I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using ... http://mainejokes.com/the-fbi-and-billy-bob/  A doctor, on his morning walk, noticed an older lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look!  What is your secret?"  "I smoke ten cigars a day," she said.  "Before I go to ... http://mainejokes.com/secret-to-long-life-in-maine/   Jeff Foxworthy on Maine: If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Maine. If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Moosehead Lake is the coldest ... http://mainejokes.com/jeff-foxworthy-on-maine/ http://mainejokes.com/happy-easter/ http://mainejokes.com/synchronized-coon-cats/ Life Boils Down to 2 Choices Should I get a dog… …or have children? http://mainejokes.com/life-boils-down-to-2-choices/